Dreaming of our future

I just read this piece about a domestic open adoption and it came at just the right time. This morning I was talking with a friend about my current internal monologue about the timing of our future biological and adopted kids. When we decided to adopt we weren’t even sure we could have biological kids ever, and it certainly didn’t appear that we were going to have a baby before we adopted. But then we did, and although I didn’t love being pregnant I’m looking forward to doing the whole thing over again eventually because I do love the result. Physically, since I’m an older mom, it seems to make the most sense to try for another bio kid first when we want to be a family of four, and then start the adoption process after that when we’re ready. But I really, really hate the thought of delaying the adoption for at least three or four years. Feels like such a long time and I’m worried that it won’t happen. I’ve met a lot of families who intended on adopting and then life happens and the adoption doesn’t.

So, it was good to read this success story about the kind of adoption we’re hoping for (even though it came across a little too neat & perfect – surely even a smooth and sweet open adoption has challenges and heartache). It felt like an echo of my friend’s comment this morning as I told her I didn’t want to put it off until it was too late. “You both have a strong drive for it, so I don’t think you’ll let it go.” I don’t think so either. And if we do, I have to trust that there’ll be grace for that decision when we need it.

Meanwhile, this little birdie has become a champion napper! Suddenly she takes three-hour naps twice a day! It is a little bit of heaven and I don’t know how long it will last, but for now it’s amazing!

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