Fog, free writing, frowns

“It is much more important to write than to write well.” Amy Bloom

I just heard Ms. Bloom say this in a radio interview as I was staring at a blank blog post while I fed Annie. It’s hard to write well or even write anything, so the advice was timely. I have ten seconds before an entire meltdown from my sweet 10-week-old. Here’s to practicing free writing.

I’ve been reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin and I’m in the middle of the chapter about being intentional about fun. Her concept of a fun fog makes so much sense. A fun fog is when you’re in the middle of something that doesn’t feel “fun” at the moment but afterward it leaves you with warm fuzzies and happy memories. She uses the examples of hosting a dinner party or raising kids. In the particular moments of mundane chores related to those tasks, a person wouldn’t usually say that it’s fun, but when there’s a bit of distance from the situation it’s clear that it was deeply satisfying and “fun.”

Anyway, that’s exactly how this summer feels. There are lots of fun moments that I can recognize immediately, like walking the boardwalk or playing with Annie when she’s rested, full, and on the verge of figuring out how to laugh. But most of the time there’s a haze. It’s nice to know that it’ll look more fun when I’m looking back on it.

The Occupational Therapy Fairy Godmother is in town for a week and we had a big family get-together with my mom’s side last weekend, and it’s been surreal to introduce Annie to everyone. She almost seems more “real” every time someone else gets to know her. As if they validate her in some way for me. Perhaps that’s strange. I think it’s just part of the process of integrating her into my life.

Work life is still going great and I’m picking up more hours. Yesterday was one of those days when I needed to get work done but I also needed to spend quality time with our family, and I felt the pull of both. I think I ended up doing each thing moderately well but not exceptionally well. In any case I felt very modern and conflicted!

The meltdown has begun but she held on a lot longer than I expected. A pic for the road…photo(2)

 

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2 thoughts on “Fog, free writing, frowns

  1. You do a wonderful job of describing your life and the feelings of many or most new moms. And… she is so darling when she’s about to have a meltdown. :D just sayin’!

  2. I like being part of fun fog life seasons with you. :)

    So glad we got to catch up last week, so grateful we had real time together, and uber geeked that I got to hang out with you and Ana during the night last Monday. Cuz, you know, that’s how sleepovers are supposed to be: midnight snacks, giggles, and at least one person on the verge of tears (ehem, little niece… you win the title this time).

    Love you!

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