Transitions

I had lunch with my middle sister and mom today. My sis, the Occupational Therapy fairy godmother (that’s my new nickname for her), leaves for Santa Barbara tomorrow after spending most of the last two years here finishing her Master’s degree. She is so dang smart and she is a top-notch medical professional – caring, organized, gentle, and persistent. We are really proud of the way she stuck it out and aced everything she started. So, of course she got a job right away and she’ll be going back to her second home. This isn’t the first time we’ve lived thousands of miles apart but it’s still hard to say goodbye. Especially with the little blackbird coming home eventually; OTFG will be a fantastic aunt! Actually, all of our siblings will be great aunts and uncles. But the rest of them (12, to be exact) are all pretty local and will probably stay that way for the next few years.  I will miss her.

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It just so happens that our two youngest siblings also moved out of the house this fall. Our parents will be empty-nesters for the first time in 32 years. I’m hoping it’s a great new season of life for them with new goals, quiet joy, and lots of the things they love.

And, today I had a meeting about that financial opportunity I mentioned last time and it turned out to be a great answer to prayer! It looks like I have a new season of life coming up in a few weeks too. Still have some details to work out but it looks great so far.

And, on the biological baby front, I’m trying not to worry. Now that I’ve officially added “recurrent pregnancy loss” to my medical chart, it’s really hard to imagine going through a future pregnancy without hourly anxiety about when it will end. I see pregnant women everywhere (honestly, they multiply when you’re trying to conceive and/or just miscarried) and I can’t imagine how they look so carefree. Good Cop and I have had a lot of conversations about that since the second miscarriage. We both feel it. It seems like we’ve lost that innocence for good. But we are both determined to enjoy everything in the best way we can manage if we get pregnant again. We tell ourselves that every moment of life is fragile, not just the first nine months, and it doesn’t do any good to worry. One of my coping techniques is to look around at all the people within view and remind myself that healthy babies are born all the time, including myself. I was a healthy pregnancy at one time. And we know that we can get pregnant, which is a big deal. There are a lot of reasons why we *don’t* need to worry.

It is still hard to trust! I am really grateful for our faith and the many people who are praying for us. We have hope. But we are human and we know too much. Good thing God knows our hearts.

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2 thoughts on “Transitions

  1. Dear loves,

    I don’t know how I missed this post when I thought I was so faithfully keeping up with the others. I think that God knew that my heart needed to read this tonight.

    Our lunch was wonderful. The move was wonderful. Being apart is… it just is. Words for that on another day. Today, it just is.

    My heart is happy and honored to be OTFG. What a tremendously cool name! Blackbird is in my heart with a kind of love that no other kiddo has created (and I love a lot of fabulous kiddos!), flitting through my mind almost every day. Every day? My prayer is for a fantastically snuggled up landing in your nest at just the right time.

    Xs and Os, gab-fest, and quiet times, too,

    R

    • I’m so glad you found this when you needed it! Blackbird is going to be such a fan of their OTFG. Thank you for your love and prayers! They mean a lot. Love you, sissa.

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