So we had our first meetings with our top two agency choices. Honestly, I thought it would be pretty easy to pick a favorite after meeting with both of them. It isn’t. I think they’d both be great agencies and we could have a good experience with either of them. Good Cop definitely has a favorite and I’m surprising myself by leaning his way. Before the meetings I had “picked” the other agency based on their websites and my research, but I actually liked his agency a little better. So, I guess it’s good to be open and go where we’re both comfortable. Now we’re waiting on responses to two emails to different friends who have unique perspectives on the agency we like, and then we can pull the trigger and start filling out paperwork. That is so freaking exciting! I am itching to get the forms started and set up our fundraising site. It is crazy cool that we get to do this process together so soon in our marriage – I thought it’d be a decade at least before we’d be ready to adopt, and now it’s here just a year and a half after the wedding. It’s scary and awesome to think about the ways this will change our relationship, our families, and our daily life. Not just when we’ve got a baby sleeping in the nursery, but in the 12-18 months right now while we’re going through the pre-placement journey. I am so proud of him and the way he’s 100% ready to do the work. He’s gonna be a spectacular dad.
He showed me this video the other day.
Really interesting to see their reactions to the negative responses Cheerios got when the commercial came out. Overall it’s great to see that kids have a better grasp of life than a lot of adults. I think the part that makes me nervous is the kids’ answers to the interviewer’s question, “What about anyone watching that has to deal with racism in their life, or have biracial parents and people give them a hard time about that?” My favorite answer is the kid in the blue shirt at 8:15 – “I hope you get through all of this because those mean people out there, they don’t deserve anything.” Least favorite is the girl at 8:01 – “Just ignore them.” Been reading a lot about white parents’ tendency to tell their black kids that they should let the racism roll off their backs, and emphasize their children’s role in educating racists about equality and human worth. On the surface it makes sense. I don’t want to dwell on pain and I do want to change our white-privilege culture. But children are children, not activists. They have fragile identities and they’re supposed to be loved and nurtured. I experienced some ostracism and pain while growing up with a mentally impaired brother, and I know the pressure of trying to educate people and let the hurtful words roll off your back, and although kids are resilient and have an ability to cope with significant pain, that shouldn’t be their normal daily experience. So, I don’t want to tell my kids to “just ignore them.” That doesn’t help, and it minimizes the wrongness of the racism. Instead, I want to acknowledge the wrongness, build up my child’s identity as a healthy individual, and then appropriately deal with the perpetrator.
I also really appreciated this post on Rage Against the Minivan, Finding justice for Trayvon: seven actions steps for our outrage. I thought the practical ideas to change how we think and act were really good. This video below was captivating.